I have been asked alot throughout my years why religion I believe in, or what's my take on religion, or do I believe in any god, etc.
First, I don't like labels period. Whether it's for religion, or for sexuality, for race, or anything. I don't like to be put in a box because then I feel I will forever be judged by what other people in the same "category" as me say or do.
I've also had moments when I was younger, where people would ask what religion my mother was and then assume I was the same as her. It just made me angry because I felt like it took about my own voice and thoughts.
I don't know if there is a God, or if there are Gods. I'm not looking to find He/She/It/Them either, it's not on my list of priorities.
To say I don't care sounds a little harsh, but I do not care for religion in my personal life. It wouldn't do much for my personality, or beliefs, or morals, I feel I am already a pretty set individual.
Second, religion is scary, in my opinion. Die hard people of religions, and strict rules are scary. It makes me uncomfortable, and I don't like being told what to do. Religion would be the equivalent of throwing me into jail.
Now I do not judge or discriminate against people who are religious. Basically I believe you should be able to believe in whatever you want, as long as you aren't hurting anyone, or forcing your beliefs upon anyone (especially me), it all should be dandy.
There are so many different religions in my family as well (I've always said we kind of have a mini crusades era, without the stupidity and war)... if the world could emulate my family then we could truly achieve peace,seriously.
And it kind of comes down to all the same ideas in religion... especially with ones that were rooted from a base religion.
Well here it is, I have thought long and hard of how to summarize my take on this huge topic.
I guess I believe in Love. If we all cared for our neighbors, and accepted the fact that we are all different but just lived and loved no matter what, then the world would be a great place.
So I try to live with love, and peace, and harmony.
I believe in nature, and earth, and how we need to learn how to live more eco-friendly since we do only have one planet that can foster our life.
It gets hard some days, but I believe in People. I believe we all have the potential to do something great for humanity, the planet, or anything really, even a small change. I believe people can change to live more peacefully, one day. I have hope.
I guess if you really wanted to you could tell me all my beliefs could very well set me into already formed religions. Paganism, Wicca, Buddhism, Confucianism, etc.
I already know, but I just can't do it. I can't tie myself down to a religion, to a word, to rules, when I already have so many other limitations in my life.
I hope this helps everyone understand me a little more.
I hope this ties up some loose ends of conversations if you ever asked me about my religious beliefs etc.
Peace and Love.
I am Christina.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
My List for 2010
Not in a Particular Order... just a bit... whatever... XD Happy New Year!
1. Get at least a 3.0 GPA
2. Become a CP Major/ Study Film (Transfer into Park)
3. Get a Job
4. Become more social/ meet a variety of people (specifically at Ithaca)
5a. Start a SMART Youth Branch at Ithaca College
5b. Be able to semi-run SMART Youth while I am away/ Leave it in good condition without worry
6. Renew Passport/ Get my Permit, then license/ Learn how to drive
7. Get a New Camera
8. Get a Video Camera (something I can record with)
9. Extend my Keyboard (the instrument) skills/ Make some Rocking Music!
10. Set better habits and organization skills into place
11. Stay Connected (old friends, family, etc.) / Be Available
12. Keep up with IC Chuck It/ Become a Club
13. Stay Away from Drugs
14. Figure out how to maintain a peaceful relationship with my hair/ Learn to Love it More
15. Quit the Biting Habit (;-;)
16. Start writing again
17. Do some youtube videos (?)
18. Volunteer More (find an animal shelter in Ithaca when I'm not home, gardening, stay busy doing good things for others, etc.)
*Cash my Lotto Ticket
Can't think of anything else... I may add more, you can comment to remind me of something I said I would always do....
Peace and Love.
2010
1. Get at least a 3.0 GPA
2. Become a CP Major/ Study Film (Transfer into Park)
3. Get a Job
4. Become more social/ meet a variety of people (specifically at Ithaca)
5a. Start a SMART Youth Branch at Ithaca College
5b. Be able to semi-run SMART Youth while I am away/ Leave it in good condition without worry
6. Renew Passport/ Get my Permit, then license/ Learn how to drive
7. Get a New Camera
8. Get a Video Camera (something I can record with)
9. Extend my Keyboard (the instrument) skills/ Make some Rocking Music!
10. Set better habits and organization skills into place
11. Stay Connected (old friends, family, etc.) / Be Available
12. Keep up with IC Chuck It/ Become a Club
13. Stay Away from Drugs
14. Figure out how to maintain a peaceful relationship with my hair/ Learn to Love it More
15. Quit the Biting Habit (;-;)
16. Start writing again
17. Do some youtube videos (?)
18. Volunteer More (find an animal shelter in Ithaca when I'm not home, gardening, stay busy doing good things for others, etc.)
*Cash my Lotto Ticket
Can't think of anything else... I may add more, you can comment to remind me of something I said I would always do....
Peace and Love.
2010
No Juliet
Tuesday, May 12th, 2009 11:20 PM
I'm still a kid, but mature
He can fall in love easily, but I won't
I will not tell you I love, until I know exactly what it means
He can keep living in his masquerade dream
He can be Romeo, drink poison so quickly- and think nothing will ever be right
I can not be a Juliet, I will not be a Juliet, I still have a life
And life is worth living
So Romeo can take a hike.
I'm still a kid, but mature
He can fall in love easily, but I won't
I will not tell you I love, until I know exactly what it means
He can keep living in his masquerade dream
He can be Romeo, drink poison so quickly- and think nothing will ever be right
I can not be a Juliet, I will not be a Juliet, I still have a life
And life is worth living
So Romeo can take a hike.
Fake
Tuesday, May 12th, 2009 11:19 PM
I'm sorry for all I offend, but you know if you fit into this category... it won't be the end. You still have a life and that is real, you still have a mind and decisions, you'll be able to deal.
You don't need to fit into a mosh pit of people to feel like you belong. When you wear a mask for so long, you forget who you are, and then that's what will make you all alone.
I've noticed so many people, when you look into their eyes it's nothing, maybe sadness but just something. There isn't an original thought in their mind, they follow the same people around. Same music, same hair, same poses, same dudes, same color, same eyes, there's nothing new.
"they're my friends, we just have stuff in common" I understand.
But what if they hate your favorite band? forget it, yeah they're not that good anyway. I like being this way. I'm noticed, I party, and this is so cool!
You weren't always this way, you can still break through.
Surely this part may hit everyone hard, even me.
But why be so fake? Just live, be happy.
Your eyes aren't that color, it's nice to have fun, but pretending to have something you don't well.. that's a lie, Hun.
I love ya all, but maybe you need to start being a little more comfortable in your OWN skin.
I will not lie, I am what I am, take me or leave me. I am what I am, and I can surely say, the journey of being fake ended. I will never ever be a FAKE.
I'm sorry for all I offend, but you know if you fit into this category... it won't be the end. You still have a life and that is real, you still have a mind and decisions, you'll be able to deal.
You don't need to fit into a mosh pit of people to feel like you belong. When you wear a mask for so long, you forget who you are, and then that's what will make you all alone.
I've noticed so many people, when you look into their eyes it's nothing, maybe sadness but just something. There isn't an original thought in their mind, they follow the same people around. Same music, same hair, same poses, same dudes, same color, same eyes, there's nothing new.
"they're my friends, we just have stuff in common" I understand.
But what if they hate your favorite band? forget it, yeah they're not that good anyway. I like being this way. I'm noticed, I party, and this is so cool!
You weren't always this way, you can still break through.
Surely this part may hit everyone hard, even me.
But why be so fake? Just live, be happy.
Your eyes aren't that color, it's nice to have fun, but pretending to have something you don't well.. that's a lie, Hun.
I love ya all, but maybe you need to start being a little more comfortable in your OWN skin.
I will not lie, I am what I am, take me or leave me. I am what I am, and I can surely say, the journey of being fake ended. I will never ever be a FAKE.
Love In Pain
Tuesday, May 12th, 2009 11:10 PM
Have you ever heard someone you loved in Pain?
Not Physical
emotional, mental Pain
Have you ever hear their sobs fill the whole house
Making your ears shake
Like an earth quake, making you fall to your knees and run away at the same time
Making your eyes lose sight
I have and I never want to hear it again
To see the pain, feel the pain, hear the pain, and hold their tear filled body and trying to stay strong, saying it'll be alright, saying it's alright, just keep saying... it's alright
The Look, The Feel, Of A Loved Ones Pain
It puts us to shame when we think of them as super heroes
It takes a bad moment to bring us back to reality, crash back into our bodies and see, that we're all just human
we're all susceptible to all this pain
All this hurt
All this breaking down inside, stab me now, swallow me up, take me away, let me fly away moments
I never Felt anything like this reality until I saw the way she cried.
Have you ever heard someone you loved in Pain?
Not Physical
emotional, mental Pain
Have you ever hear their sobs fill the whole house
Making your ears shake
Like an earth quake, making you fall to your knees and run away at the same time
Making your eyes lose sight
I have and I never want to hear it again
To see the pain, feel the pain, hear the pain, and hold their tear filled body and trying to stay strong, saying it'll be alright, saying it's alright, just keep saying... it's alright
The Look, The Feel, Of A Loved Ones Pain
It puts us to shame when we think of them as super heroes
It takes a bad moment to bring us back to reality, crash back into our bodies and see, that we're all just human
we're all susceptible to all this pain
All this hurt
All this breaking down inside, stab me now, swallow me up, take me away, let me fly away moments
I never Felt anything like this reality until I saw the way she cried.
Alive In Wonderland
Tuesday, May 12th, 2009 11:06 PM
So this started out as a typo- and now it will become my life
It will become my inspiration
Okay now I have to rhyme it will become my *wife*
But besides that stupid line that came before
Alice has come knocking at my door
Alice became Alive
And I had opened my eyes
Alive in Wonderland
What does it mean?
That in my dreams that is me
daydreams are my life
This girl Alice is my inner child
It has all become so clear to me
That this girl has been living inside of me
Why my life is the way it is
and Why I thrive when laying in my own thoughts
How I can be oblivious to the world
Because of my imagination that runs wild
People say my dreams are all they will ever be- dreams
but my wonderland will come true
you'll see
Alive in Wonderland
That's where I'll be
When you start to believe in me
Wonderland... How magical
How Beautiful
A dream come true
Wonderland lets me down too
See there really isn't a rabbit hole for me to fall down into
For me to get away to
And there is no Queen of Hearts
There are just my books
my creations
my dreams
and lazy days in the park
Alive in Wonderland
does that mean I'm dead in Reality?
I hope it just means free
Because if I'm dead in reality
and there's no wonderland
What is to really become of little crazy me...
So this started out as a typo- and now it will become my life
It will become my inspiration
Okay now I have to rhyme it will become my *wife*
But besides that stupid line that came before
Alice has come knocking at my door
Alice became Alive
And I had opened my eyes
Alive in Wonderland
What does it mean?
That in my dreams that is me
daydreams are my life
This girl Alice is my inner child
It has all become so clear to me
That this girl has been living inside of me
Why my life is the way it is
and Why I thrive when laying in my own thoughts
How I can be oblivious to the world
Because of my imagination that runs wild
People say my dreams are all they will ever be- dreams
but my wonderland will come true
you'll see
Alive in Wonderland
That's where I'll be
When you start to believe in me
Wonderland... How magical
How Beautiful
A dream come true
Wonderland lets me down too
See there really isn't a rabbit hole for me to fall down into
For me to get away to
And there is no Queen of Hearts
There are just my books
my creations
my dreams
and lazy days in the park
Alive in Wonderland
does that mean I'm dead in Reality?
I hope it just means free
Because if I'm dead in reality
and there's no wonderland
What is to really become of little crazy me...
To All My Girls
Tuesday, May 12th, 2009 11:01 PM
This is dedicated to all my girlies
My stand by my side
Always going to be there chicks
You're going to know me until the day I die girls
My Party Girls, My Hang Out, Go To The Movies, Let's Just Ride The Train Chicas
You'll be there for my wedding, My Super Babies birth
Hell maybe one of you guys will deliver my children like that movie Now And Then
I'm Never Going To Forget You Girls
Man I would punch a guy out for you to feel better babes
I can be straight honest with you
and I just have great times with you Girls
Mis Amigas, My Home Girls, My Boos, My Bitches
Man These are going to be long lasting relationships you and me
Maybe we're not going to be in same colleges, or same states
whatever I'm going to keep in contact even if it means walking through a snow storm to get to a mail box
There's no way I am going to let any of you guys go, even if you want to leave me ^-^
My Road Trip Chicks, Hopefully We Don't Hit Any Trees
You guys are going to be the first to here my first times
even if you don't want to hear the details
I'll tie you down and tell how big his....
My We'll probably live together chicks
my models
my writers
my actresses
my dancers
my singers
my everything
I will fund you all for that Club (definitely), and help you get a job if you are a starving artist
because I hope to be successful and you guys believe in me
and that's all I really need
I'll give you meals, and discounts and help you through
make sure you get published, make sure you get noticed, make sure you live life to the fullest
So Here is my dedication to all of you who know who you are
Here is my dedication because I wouldn't be the great person I am without you
Here is my dedication to my life changing girls
My Everything Girls
My Perfect Girls
My Friends... Here Is My Dedication To My Die For Friends
This is dedicated to all my girlies
My stand by my side
Always going to be there chicks
You're going to know me until the day I die girls
My Party Girls, My Hang Out, Go To The Movies, Let's Just Ride The Train Chicas
You'll be there for my wedding, My Super Babies birth
Hell maybe one of you guys will deliver my children like that movie Now And Then
I'm Never Going To Forget You Girls
Man I would punch a guy out for you to feel better babes
I can be straight honest with you
and I just have great times with you Girls
Mis Amigas, My Home Girls, My Boos, My Bitches
Man These are going to be long lasting relationships you and me
Maybe we're not going to be in same colleges, or same states
whatever I'm going to keep in contact even if it means walking through a snow storm to get to a mail box
There's no way I am going to let any of you guys go, even if you want to leave me ^-^
My Road Trip Chicks, Hopefully We Don't Hit Any Trees
You guys are going to be the first to here my first times
even if you don't want to hear the details
I'll tie you down and tell how big his....
My We'll probably live together chicks
my models
my writers
my actresses
my dancers
my singers
my everything
I will fund you all for that Club (definitely), and help you get a job if you are a starving artist
because I hope to be successful and you guys believe in me
and that's all I really need
I'll give you meals, and discounts and help you through
make sure you get published, make sure you get noticed, make sure you live life to the fullest
So Here is my dedication to all of you who know who you are
Here is my dedication because I wouldn't be the great person I am without you
Here is my dedication to my life changing girls
My Everything Girls
My Perfect Girls
My Friends... Here Is My Dedication To My Die For Friends
Sunday, January 24, 2010
One Heart Beat
Thursday, December 4th, 2008 12:20 AM
He touched her
not so he could feel her
but to make himself
believe her
that she was there beside him
To make her real
in the moonless night
he sought her out
not so he could see her
but to keep her image in his mind
to make sure she wasn't a lie
a vision of his mind
He breathed her in
to make himself live
dreary days
pushing them all away
she gave him life
a reason to swallow his pride
get down on his knees
bow his head
and to let him stay
motionless
until her voice traveled through his ears
He couldn't hear her
but he knew her song
The vibrations in his ears
Healing every scar and knock
he ever had to bear
He listened to unchanging words
Whispers
Silence
laying back against the earth
he drank the rain
his mind fogged by her presence
he had to taste her
sweet
cold
revitalizing goddess
He was overcome by her
She touched him
She Told him
She drizzled sweetness across his lips
from her fingers
she possessed him
with one caress
She let him see her
Every cracking bone
chipping stones
irregular molds
They lived.
He touched her
not so he could feel her
but to make himself
believe her
that she was there beside him
To make her real
in the moonless night
he sought her out
not so he could see her
but to keep her image in his mind
to make sure she wasn't a lie
a vision of his mind
He breathed her in
to make himself live
dreary days
pushing them all away
she gave him life
a reason to swallow his pride
get down on his knees
bow his head
and to let him stay
motionless
until her voice traveled through his ears
He couldn't hear her
but he knew her song
The vibrations in his ears
Healing every scar and knock
he ever had to bear
He listened to unchanging words
Whispers
Silence
laying back against the earth
he drank the rain
his mind fogged by her presence
he had to taste her
sweet
cold
revitalizing goddess
He was overcome by her
She touched him
She Told him
She drizzled sweetness across his lips
from her fingers
she possessed him
with one caress
She let him see her
Every cracking bone
chipping stones
irregular molds
They lived.
Give Me Liberty
Friday, November 28th, 2008 11:51 PM
She's an open book
words spread out freely amongst the
world
she bleeds the pages,
exposed to weather
exposed to pain
falling
unbalanced
no one to blame
torn and read
in between the lines a small thread
as she waits for her whole story to unfold
in someones hands
someones heart
someones words
shed some light in the dark ink of
the end and once upon a time
there...
cold blank
canvas
titled
named
identity still whatever you think will
explain
the feelings, the actions, the theme,
her concept
reality and tragedy
fantasy and make believe
on floor, on a shelf
in a room, just remembering
where she left herself
ready, open,
time runs out,
slowly, don't rush
one. word. at. a. time.
She wants to be discovered,
to be held, to be loved, to be breathed, to be one... to be one
to see something new, instead of routine
beating
pulse
one. word. at. a. time.
More stories than lives.
Intertwine, don't deny, the full force,
impact,
of each. and. every.
line.
Heart beats. blood rush. fingers touch.
Just one brush. One turn. One.
Go find her, undo her bind.
Surface to fiber,
universal design.
Every. Chance.
One. More. Time.
She's an open book
words spread out freely amongst the
world
she bleeds the pages,
exposed to weather
exposed to pain
falling
unbalanced
no one to blame
torn and read
in between the lines a small thread
as she waits for her whole story to unfold
in someones hands
someones heart
someones words
shed some light in the dark ink of
the end and once upon a time
there...
cold blank
canvas
titled
named
identity still whatever you think will
explain
the feelings, the actions, the theme,
her concept
reality and tragedy
fantasy and make believe
on floor, on a shelf
in a room, just remembering
where she left herself
ready, open,
time runs out,
slowly, don't rush
one. word. at. a. time.
She wants to be discovered,
to be held, to be loved, to be breathed, to be one... to be one
to see something new, instead of routine
beating
pulse
one. word. at. a. time.
More stories than lives.
Intertwine, don't deny, the full force,
impact,
of each. and. every.
line.
Heart beats. blood rush. fingers touch.
Just one brush. One turn. One.
Go find her, undo her bind.
Surface to fiber,
universal design.
Every. Chance.
One. More. Time.
Delayed Reaction
Tuesday, October 21st, 2008 12:08 AM
It's been over ten years now,
and it's just now hitting me
I think.
It all started after school one day
heading home with two buddies
and he's waiting with balloons and a birthday bag
he's smiling, waiting for his little girl to see him with surprise
he's laughing and grinning and watching the door for her to come into his presence.
And a family friend is there too, happy because of the father's happiness
to present his daughter with another year
another gift
sincerity and love.
I see it all the time I guess, but just seeing it this day
I became overwhelmed.
He was so happy, and I could hear her giggling with her friends behind me as soon as she spotted him.
We walk past him a little more.
"Wow... that just made me kind of sad"
I kind of felt it in my heart
like what a lucky girl I guess
I don't know I just never had that, but always wanted it
a daddy to run and hug
and hope he got me the right present.
I'm not trying to look for sympathy
but I never thought about it before
Why this day, why now?
I've always been able to say easily
"wow... maybe it's good my dad isn't around..."
when my friends talk about their dads
I never truly mean it though, but I guess it's my way of being able to fit in the conversation.
I'm sure things would be very different if he were in my life,
maybe not as much freedom,
maybe I would speak spanish,
maybe I would have gone to Puerto Rico already,
maybe he would pick me up at school on a birthday.
I guess that's it, birthday's.
Maybe that's why it finally came
November 19th 1996
day before my 6th birthday...
I would grow up with out a dad, and feel no different.
My birthday's were never really "special", they were sweet, family oriented, nothing big.
But after that, I don't remember any other birthdays until... like 12 or 13.
So I guess the thought of a birthday, is the same as another year that he's missed, another day he couldn't make.
I don't blame him for anything, I love him, he helped create me.
But just ever since that day, I finally felt it
I'm a mommy's girl, there was no choice, might have turned out the same
would I be Rodriguez enough? Puerto Rican then?
Who knows... I've already been molded by his absence, and no longer feel the need to say
"I guess I'm better off"
Maybe it's because I'm going off to college
I'll have to tell my stories all over again
maybe I need to actually figure out my feelings
Maybe, whatever
So it took... 12 years? I dunno...
I don't like sob stories but I just had to jot this out for my own benefit
It's been over ten years now,
and it's just now hitting me
I think.
It all started after school one day
heading home with two buddies
and he's waiting with balloons and a birthday bag
he's smiling, waiting for his little girl to see him with surprise
he's laughing and grinning and watching the door for her to come into his presence.
And a family friend is there too, happy because of the father's happiness
to present his daughter with another year
another gift
sincerity and love.
I see it all the time I guess, but just seeing it this day
I became overwhelmed.
He was so happy, and I could hear her giggling with her friends behind me as soon as she spotted him.
We walk past him a little more.
"Wow... that just made me kind of sad"
I kind of felt it in my heart
like what a lucky girl I guess
I don't know I just never had that, but always wanted it
a daddy to run and hug
and hope he got me the right present.
I'm not trying to look for sympathy
but I never thought about it before
Why this day, why now?
I've always been able to say easily
"wow... maybe it's good my dad isn't around..."
when my friends talk about their dads
I never truly mean it though, but I guess it's my way of being able to fit in the conversation.
I'm sure things would be very different if he were in my life,
maybe not as much freedom,
maybe I would speak spanish,
maybe I would have gone to Puerto Rico already,
maybe he would pick me up at school on a birthday.
I guess that's it, birthday's.
Maybe that's why it finally came
November 19th 1996
day before my 6th birthday...
I would grow up with out a dad, and feel no different.
My birthday's were never really "special", they were sweet, family oriented, nothing big.
But after that, I don't remember any other birthdays until... like 12 or 13.
So I guess the thought of a birthday, is the same as another year that he's missed, another day he couldn't make.
I don't blame him for anything, I love him, he helped create me.
But just ever since that day, I finally felt it
I'm a mommy's girl, there was no choice, might have turned out the same
would I be Rodriguez enough? Puerto Rican then?
Who knows... I've already been molded by his absence, and no longer feel the need to say
"I guess I'm better off"
Maybe it's because I'm going off to college
I'll have to tell my stories all over again
maybe I need to actually figure out my feelings
Maybe, whatever
So it took... 12 years? I dunno...
I don't like sob stories but I just had to jot this out for my own benefit
Stop Caring, Dolling
Monday, October 13th, 2008 12:01 AM
I know, if there is one thing you can't stand
it's fighting with yourself
doing everything you don't want to do
letting impulse take over
not doing what you should do
or standing up for what you really believe in
not saying what's on your mind
but falling
onto aching knees
wishing for some bright new day
with the optimism you always keep
somewhere inside, you know it's just a stupid dream,
You know it'll never be a fairy tale.
You shouldn't be hoping for something so "selfish"
You say
something so intolerable
something uncontrollable
something so frustrating and uncomfortable
If you feel it's wrong, you shouldn't want this
No one likes to regret
or want to forget
We all should want to represent
powerful women
No need to zip your lips
so the secrets slip
and your mind flows
through the liberating mist
why are you submitting to commit
when all you really want is comfort
and to fill some emptiness
cool, calm, and collect
what the heck
he jumped from friends
to planning trips in to your bed?
No wonder your head is spinning
loose lips slip
hard to find the switch
to flip
so it can
stop
We've all acted like this
the part you think you might want to be
some sort of viper
ready to pounce
but the fear takes over the body completely
there's no word for this feeling
and I can't explain
since no one understands
how we can want to strangle
and roll around in the leaves
to want to yell at and punch
but still want a hug
"what the fuck", I agree
this is enough
I can't even take this dizziness
one or the other
yes or no
maybe?
no never
You're done, or You're not
Stop Caring, Dolling
You deserve better,
Stop Caring, Dolling
you'll always be his whatever
Trust Me, Sweetie
you'll feel the relief soon
Trust Me, Sweetie
he's an idiot, and there's nothing more to do.
Live It Up, Honey
those dreams can still come true
Open Your Mind, Honey
kick open the gate, and fly away
I know, if there is one thing you can't stand
it's fighting with yourself
doing everything you don't want to do
letting impulse take over
not doing what you should do
or standing up for what you really believe in
not saying what's on your mind
but falling
onto aching knees
wishing for some bright new day
with the optimism you always keep
somewhere inside, you know it's just a stupid dream,
You know it'll never be a fairy tale.
You shouldn't be hoping for something so "selfish"
You say
something so intolerable
something uncontrollable
something so frustrating and uncomfortable
If you feel it's wrong, you shouldn't want this
No one likes to regret
or want to forget
We all should want to represent
powerful women
No need to zip your lips
so the secrets slip
and your mind flows
through the liberating mist
why are you submitting to commit
when all you really want is comfort
and to fill some emptiness
cool, calm, and collect
what the heck
he jumped from friends
to planning trips in to your bed?
No wonder your head is spinning
loose lips slip
hard to find the switch
to flip
so it can
stop
We've all acted like this
the part you think you might want to be
some sort of viper
ready to pounce
but the fear takes over the body completely
there's no word for this feeling
and I can't explain
since no one understands
how we can want to strangle
and roll around in the leaves
to want to yell at and punch
but still want a hug
"what the fuck", I agree
this is enough
I can't even take this dizziness
one or the other
yes or no
maybe?
no never
You're done, or You're not
Stop Caring, Dolling
You deserve better,
Stop Caring, Dolling
you'll always be his whatever
Trust Me, Sweetie
you'll feel the relief soon
Trust Me, Sweetie
he's an idiot, and there's nothing more to do.
Live It Up, Honey
those dreams can still come true
Open Your Mind, Honey
kick open the gate, and fly away
Hit This
Sunday, October 12th, 2008 11:39 PM
*Weirdest string of words... but I kinda like it*
Is a misfit twist with some obvious shit
that love can't handle the
crazyness
when I hit the key
I rock the bones
til they break
show you where I'm from
to the hit this miss this can't handle this kid
with the open window and the sun shining in
to the dark night
star brights
and passionate arms to keep warm
scare you
freak you
out
misfit
cool kid
loser chick
with no time
for the cool sick
with the jump kicks
and the lying rounds
with the outfit
twist it
tear the walls down
with a song
and a bang
and a triple double single round
hit this
miss this
try and take me down
we're the misfit
kiss this
chicks of the town
*Weirdest string of words... but I kinda like it*
Is a misfit twist with some obvious shit
that love can't handle the
crazyness
when I hit the key
I rock the bones
til they break
show you where I'm from
to the hit this miss this can't handle this kid
with the open window and the sun shining in
to the dark night
star brights
and passionate arms to keep warm
scare you
freak you
out
misfit
cool kid
loser chick
with no time
for the cool sick
with the jump kicks
and the lying rounds
with the outfit
twist it
tear the walls down
with a song
and a bang
and a triple double single round
hit this
miss this
try and take me down
we're the misfit
kiss this
chicks of the town
Haha, Men, Haha
Sunday, October 12th, 2008 11:35 PM
Guys are Complicated, Girls are Complex.
Read it and weep.
Complexity is Not a bad thing,
making things Complicated is a frustrating trait.
Okay Guys, You say we're sensitive,
too emotional
too clingy
too humane.
If we were, we'd all be dead from suicide with all the assholes out in the world.
Humans have feelings.
Women should not be messed with, can't you understand!
You hurt one women, you hurt us all, We WILL CASTRATE YOU.
But we're too clever for that.
Men think they're the smartest, most manipulative, and can wrap a chick around their finger;
sex,lust, charm, begging.
"oh please, oh please!"
I'll agree, there are chicks like that,
But only because society, ruled by men still, puts pressure, and pressure, and pressure, and wants us to be their diamonds, shimmering, cut to any shape, hard, cold, a gem.
Confidence is key. I'll never let a man get the best of me.
They should have to beg and plead.
I'm not an object, or a sex kitten, will never be barbie, or any other degrading shit like that.
Now I'll try to organize my anger, so I can clearly defend my point.
Men, I know, I know, you all aren't alike.
But there are enough of you to poison the pot.
Throughout frikkin' history men have been ignorant, egotistical, brats.
Boo Fucking Hoo, you didn't get your throne; get over it.
Let me spell this out to you: B-R-A-I-N, It's called a BRAIN.
People use their BRAIN'S and CONSCIENCE to make MEANINGFUL decisions.
It's not called a penis, so don't use that shit as an excuse for why you can't keep your hands to your god damn self.
Look all you want,
But the minute you touch a lady, you have entered unwelcoming territory.
We'll even tolerate some stupid remarks from you idiots always on the block,
It's all shit, and no it doesn't make us feel good, even if you aren't physically touching us,
stuff like "nice ass", or "I'm gonna rape that"
Make us feel violated, who wouldn't?
WHO THE FUCK WOULDN'T! Use your brain.
Licking your lips, and grabbing your dick, oh yeah a total turn on sleaze bags.
So I'm number 154 that you whistled at and asked for a number... wow it's really working out for you being a complete disgusting loser.
What I hate even more, When a WOMEN actually FIGHTS BACK.
She gets major props for that, but the fact men break it down to not being a BIG DEAL, that is some vile nonsense.
He asks you to come over grabbing your hand,
You knee him in the gut,
His pride is ruined,
You've been violated, and then it turns
Crazy Bitch
Stupid Slut
If you don't want attention then don't dress like that, or this, it's your own fault.
Screw You Losers.
I like when I don't see guys with their pants down to their knees, but you don't see me grabbing their asses.
When was a dress code announced for women?
We have to be sexy, but if we show too much we're seducing men.
We can't be too smart, or cover up too much, then we're dirt.
I never knew a dress that I feel good in, and makes me feel beautiful, became a "rape me" sign.
I think we all should dress properly, but in the end, if you feel beautiful, and your confidence is at it's highest because of something that you feel good about, then no one else can take that away.
Go ahead wear those tights jeans, but just get them in the right size, por favor, I'll beg and plead.
Get that low cut shirt that you felt five inches taller in, but if your boobs pop 3/4 out of it, wear a shirt under it and still rock it.
Make sure people focus on your genuine personality, and not physique, because that will fade, and then what will you be left with?
Thank you all who took the time to read this with open minds.
For any guy who read this without one, then I hope it changed by the end, and maybe there are some habits you need to work on.
No gender is better than the other, no person, nothing.
Respect is everything, and those who have it, and give it, are a step ahead to what the world really needs.
Unity, please.
Guys are Complicated, Girls are Complex.
Read it and weep.
Complexity is Not a bad thing,
making things Complicated is a frustrating trait.
Okay Guys, You say we're sensitive,
too emotional
too clingy
too humane.
If we were, we'd all be dead from suicide with all the assholes out in the world.
Humans have feelings.
Women should not be messed with, can't you understand!
You hurt one women, you hurt us all, We WILL CASTRATE YOU.
But we're too clever for that.
Men think they're the smartest, most manipulative, and can wrap a chick around their finger;
sex,lust, charm, begging.
"oh please, oh please!"
I'll agree, there are chicks like that,
But only because society, ruled by men still, puts pressure, and pressure, and pressure, and wants us to be their diamonds, shimmering, cut to any shape, hard, cold, a gem.
Confidence is key. I'll never let a man get the best of me.
They should have to beg and plead.
I'm not an object, or a sex kitten, will never be barbie, or any other degrading shit like that.
Now I'll try to organize my anger, so I can clearly defend my point.
Men, I know, I know, you all aren't alike.
But there are enough of you to poison the pot.
Throughout frikkin' history men have been ignorant, egotistical, brats.
Boo Fucking Hoo, you didn't get your throne; get over it.
Let me spell this out to you: B-R-A-I-N, It's called a BRAIN.
People use their BRAIN'S and CONSCIENCE to make MEANINGFUL decisions.
It's not called a penis, so don't use that shit as an excuse for why you can't keep your hands to your god damn self.
Look all you want,
But the minute you touch a lady, you have entered unwelcoming territory.
We'll even tolerate some stupid remarks from you idiots always on the block,
It's all shit, and no it doesn't make us feel good, even if you aren't physically touching us,
stuff like "nice ass", or "I'm gonna rape that"
Make us feel violated, who wouldn't?
WHO THE FUCK WOULDN'T! Use your brain.
Licking your lips, and grabbing your dick, oh yeah a total turn on sleaze bags.
So I'm number 154 that you whistled at and asked for a number... wow it's really working out for you being a complete disgusting loser.
What I hate even more, When a WOMEN actually FIGHTS BACK.
She gets major props for that, but the fact men break it down to not being a BIG DEAL, that is some vile nonsense.
He asks you to come over grabbing your hand,
You knee him in the gut,
His pride is ruined,
You've been violated, and then it turns
Crazy Bitch
Stupid Slut
If you don't want attention then don't dress like that, or this, it's your own fault.
Screw You Losers.
I like when I don't see guys with their pants down to their knees, but you don't see me grabbing their asses.
When was a dress code announced for women?
We have to be sexy, but if we show too much we're seducing men.
We can't be too smart, or cover up too much, then we're dirt.
I never knew a dress that I feel good in, and makes me feel beautiful, became a "rape me" sign.
I think we all should dress properly, but in the end, if you feel beautiful, and your confidence is at it's highest because of something that you feel good about, then no one else can take that away.
Go ahead wear those tights jeans, but just get them in the right size, por favor, I'll beg and plead.
Get that low cut shirt that you felt five inches taller in, but if your boobs pop 3/4 out of it, wear a shirt under it and still rock it.
Make sure people focus on your genuine personality, and not physique, because that will fade, and then what will you be left with?
Thank you all who took the time to read this with open minds.
For any guy who read this without one, then I hope it changed by the end, and maybe there are some habits you need to work on.
No gender is better than the other, no person, nothing.
Respect is everything, and those who have it, and give it, are a step ahead to what the world really needs.
Unity, please.
Cheese in America
Wednesday, August 6ht, 2008 11:40 PM
For A Soon-To-Be- President
To express the issues of the country I will present to you my analogies, basing it all amongst cheese.
Yes, Cheese. ~smile~
Cheese is so diverse, like our nation, our world, but unlike us through time, cheese has mastered one thing that our human minds have not been able to comprehend.
Peace.
Cheese, while there are many kinds, all over the world, do not wage war because pepper jack is spicy and american is orange.
Gouda will always be gouda, whether it is smoked, or spread.
Soft cheeses, hard cheeses, orange, red, white, yellow,
they all have mastered the skill of living in harmony.
Harmony with eachother, crackers, pasta, and cake!
Of all things you could think of the usually salty cheese has found a way to become a cake, and spread it's self to satisfy a larger population.
We look past the delicacies of this dairy product, but we need to find a way to harness the power of... well cheese!
Now I know, you're all thinking, where does this leave those who are LACTOSE INTOLERANT? VEGANS? Or anyone else who does not indulge themselves with cheese.
Cheese has even found a way to present itself to those who feel they are left behind, by becoming cheese from more than milk!
Can you believe it? Cheese even has the heart to try and unite US, people,
the nation, the world.
From our great square american cheese, to the crumbly goodness of goat cheese in the mediterranean, we can enlighten ourselves with the knowledge of that, If cheese can be one, than why can't we?
With the beat of our hearts,
The pulse of our brains,
formation of our skeletons,
Aren't we all equal?
Just like cheese, from soy bean made, milk made, even tasting almost like plastic made, all cheese try to do are be one.
We are all different, and yet the same
we are all humans
veins, blood, emotions, optimism.
Join with me today, and I will ask you not to be cheese like me,
but to be the cheese you want to be.
Together, and only together, can we accomplish this mission to harness the harmony of our now sacred cheese.
Thank you! ~Bow~
For A Soon-To-Be- President
To express the issues of the country I will present to you my analogies, basing it all amongst cheese.
Yes, Cheese. ~smile~
Cheese is so diverse, like our nation, our world, but unlike us through time, cheese has mastered one thing that our human minds have not been able to comprehend.
Peace.
Cheese, while there are many kinds, all over the world, do not wage war because pepper jack is spicy and american is orange.
Gouda will always be gouda, whether it is smoked, or spread.
Soft cheeses, hard cheeses, orange, red, white, yellow,
they all have mastered the skill of living in harmony.
Harmony with eachother, crackers, pasta, and cake!
Of all things you could think of the usually salty cheese has found a way to become a cake, and spread it's self to satisfy a larger population.
We look past the delicacies of this dairy product, but we need to find a way to harness the power of... well cheese!
Now I know, you're all thinking, where does this leave those who are LACTOSE INTOLERANT? VEGANS? Or anyone else who does not indulge themselves with cheese.
Cheese has even found a way to present itself to those who feel they are left behind, by becoming cheese from more than milk!
Can you believe it? Cheese even has the heart to try and unite US, people,
the nation, the world.
From our great square american cheese, to the crumbly goodness of goat cheese in the mediterranean, we can enlighten ourselves with the knowledge of that, If cheese can be one, than why can't we?
With the beat of our hearts,
The pulse of our brains,
formation of our skeletons,
Aren't we all equal?
Just like cheese, from soy bean made, milk made, even tasting almost like plastic made, all cheese try to do are be one.
We are all different, and yet the same
we are all humans
veins, blood, emotions, optimism.
Join with me today, and I will ask you not to be cheese like me,
but to be the cheese you want to be.
Together, and only together, can we accomplish this mission to harness the harmony of our now sacred cheese.
Thank you! ~Bow~
It's About Love
Tuesday, August 5th, 2008 2:59 AM
It's about Life
It's about Love
It's over before it has begun
It's about You
It's about Me
It's about Everything Between
and I say,
I say GoodBye to You
I say Hi to you
With No Clue
It's About Time That I, Make Up Mind.
~ Lemonheads (I think that's the bands name)
Another late night type
let the mind take flight
of the racing thoughts in my head
as I rest my mind
it fills of dread, dead
confusion, illusions
elation, infatuation
miscommunication, rehabilitation
Time to take another step
dig a little deeper
talk a little slower
think a little clearer
what is it, why is it, how is it, who is it, when is it, where is it
going?
We're allowed to be scared if we don't know
I'm allowed to let it show
he's allowed to let it go
and she's allowed to do as the flow
yes, no, maybe so
what's it mean
the million dollar question
billion dollar answer
to be determined...
by you
but when?
How does it feel,
is it really just butterflies, and heads in the skies
walking on water, and being there when it gets a little tougher
Those who over analyze
hurt their heads to realize
the specifics, the structure
when it will crumble, when it will rise
using caution as the wall away from hurt
because when you feel pain
it's when you felt love
when you feel love
you've felt pain
Atleast, that could be how it goes
no one really knows
yes, no, maybe so
In the end
we'll all pretend
that it turned out according to plan
that we found the right man, or woman
whether or not they were made for you
created for you
lived and breathed and were timed to be yours
will you know when it's over
or when you think about this, someone else appears
look back and regret, or reject
dissect, or leave it
reflect, inspect, digest, request...
another go around?
another turn around?
another chance to make it right, wrong, up, down, flipped, and switched
What's it gonna be?
How's it gonna be?
After all this typing
I still don't know
How's this going to go
Will it be quick and easy?
breathtaking and beautiful
painful and worth it
depressing and hard to wake up to
what will be my path on an already shaking world of walls
of hills
of mountains
of storms
Love, will you be my valley of poppies?
Sleep smiling
sweet dreams
the thrill of the opiate
taking over the muscles
relaxing the mind
Love, will you decide to be my valley of roses?
beauty and pain
sweet or snuff
dark or vibrant
tough and needy
How will this go
It scares me not to know
it's out of my control
vunerable to your power
kneeling from the pressure
begging for the touch
empty without the feeling
with a full and heavy heart I will be...
Waiting for that different, long searching for, adventure filled journey to
find the spark, the flame, the burn
of love
It's about Life
It's about Love
It's over before it has begun
It's about You
It's about Me
It's about Everything Between
and I say,
I say GoodBye to You
I say Hi to you
With No Clue
It's About Time That I, Make Up Mind.
~ Lemonheads (I think that's the bands name)
Another late night type
let the mind take flight
of the racing thoughts in my head
as I rest my mind
it fills of dread, dead
confusion, illusions
elation, infatuation
miscommunication, rehabilitation
Time to take another step
dig a little deeper
talk a little slower
think a little clearer
what is it, why is it, how is it, who is it, when is it, where is it
going?
We're allowed to be scared if we don't know
I'm allowed to let it show
he's allowed to let it go
and she's allowed to do as the flow
yes, no, maybe so
what's it mean
the million dollar question
billion dollar answer
to be determined...
by you
but when?
How does it feel,
is it really just butterflies, and heads in the skies
walking on water, and being there when it gets a little tougher
Those who over analyze
hurt their heads to realize
the specifics, the structure
when it will crumble, when it will rise
using caution as the wall away from hurt
because when you feel pain
it's when you felt love
when you feel love
you've felt pain
Atleast, that could be how it goes
no one really knows
yes, no, maybe so
In the end
we'll all pretend
that it turned out according to plan
that we found the right man, or woman
whether or not they were made for you
created for you
lived and breathed and were timed to be yours
will you know when it's over
or when you think about this, someone else appears
look back and regret, or reject
dissect, or leave it
reflect, inspect, digest, request...
another go around?
another turn around?
another chance to make it right, wrong, up, down, flipped, and switched
What's it gonna be?
How's it gonna be?
After all this typing
I still don't know
How's this going to go
Will it be quick and easy?
breathtaking and beautiful
painful and worth it
depressing and hard to wake up to
what will be my path on an already shaking world of walls
of hills
of mountains
of storms
Love, will you be my valley of poppies?
Sleep smiling
sweet dreams
the thrill of the opiate
taking over the muscles
relaxing the mind
Love, will you decide to be my valley of roses?
beauty and pain
sweet or snuff
dark or vibrant
tough and needy
How will this go
It scares me not to know
it's out of my control
vunerable to your power
kneeling from the pressure
begging for the touch
empty without the feeling
with a full and heavy heart I will be...
Waiting for that different, long searching for, adventure filled journey to
find the spark, the flame, the burn
of love
Freestyle Flow
Monday, July 7th, 2008 5:32 AM
It's been awhile since I wrote down a rap
better yet something poetic
where people go, damn I get it
Something to perk up your ears
and get your heart racing
because someone has just opened your eyes
to so many new places
I miss the way I use to let the words slip from my tongue
the way they rolled through my mind
like a heart beat
a pulse
a rhythm
and then that was that
I had to get it out of my mind-rewind
and do it all again
There's more to me
than what you see
just ask me
and you will know the deepest parts
those rooms locked inside, only visible in the dark
No secrets, no sewn shut lips, no more broken hearts
I have so much more to do as I live
I have a blank slate on the way to my future
as I walk slowly, I remember who knew me
I remember all there for me
I remember those who cared for me
This isn't working out the way I planned
so if you don't mind
I'm going to start again
A little shorter this time
and I might have some cheesy rhymes
but it's just time, and a clock ticking by
If you have nothing to lose
then you can just run on through
the brick walls of reality
but just phase it out as haze you see
What's a day without the sun
What's a night without the stars
visible or not, we have city lights
Connect the dots one by one
Rushing will not cancel out being late
rushing is what makes crashing such a mistake
open your eyes
and be mesmerized
by what there is to see, that you couldn't as you ran with the breeze
I think I'm getting there now
hit me up with some inspiration some how
it's all deep inside
I'm calling it out of hiding
but it's playing a game
it's making me insane
I have more to say than random keys clicking
against a blank canvas
I'll think about it
but for now
I will dream
It's been awhile since I wrote down a rap
better yet something poetic
where people go, damn I get it
Something to perk up your ears
and get your heart racing
because someone has just opened your eyes
to so many new places
I miss the way I use to let the words slip from my tongue
the way they rolled through my mind
like a heart beat
a pulse
a rhythm
and then that was that
I had to get it out of my mind-rewind
and do it all again
There's more to me
than what you see
just ask me
and you will know the deepest parts
those rooms locked inside, only visible in the dark
No secrets, no sewn shut lips, no more broken hearts
I have so much more to do as I live
I have a blank slate on the way to my future
as I walk slowly, I remember who knew me
I remember all there for me
I remember those who cared for me
This isn't working out the way I planned
so if you don't mind
I'm going to start again
A little shorter this time
and I might have some cheesy rhymes
but it's just time, and a clock ticking by
If you have nothing to lose
then you can just run on through
the brick walls of reality
but just phase it out as haze you see
What's a day without the sun
What's a night without the stars
visible or not, we have city lights
Connect the dots one by one
Rushing will not cancel out being late
rushing is what makes crashing such a mistake
open your eyes
and be mesmerized
by what there is to see, that you couldn't as you ran with the breeze
I think I'm getting there now
hit me up with some inspiration some how
it's all deep inside
I'm calling it out of hiding
but it's playing a game
it's making me insane
I have more to say than random keys clicking
against a blank canvas
I'll think about it
but for now
I will dream
Intro
Hola! Hello!
I have created my own blog so that I can post all my thoughts and writings that I have created through out the years. Most of my stuff is already on Facebook, but I figured, "Hey, Why not put it up where more people could see, maybe I can inspire someone somewhere in another way."
Let's see how this works out...
Thanks!
I have created my own blog so that I can post all my thoughts and writings that I have created through out the years. Most of my stuff is already on Facebook, but I figured, "Hey, Why not put it up where more people could see, maybe I can inspire someone somewhere in another way."
Let's see how this works out...
Thanks!
